It’s been almost a week since I last posted here in this blog. I had given myself a rule of “no more than 2 days missed,” inspired by that book I love, Atomic Habits, by James Clear. I’ve decided that in general, that’s a good rule for most things, including eating keto and/or carnivore (today is Day 17 of a nose-to-tail carnivore with daily added MCT oil, my version of it given that I once took the same anti-convulsants my good friend with epilepsy took for her seizures). It’s a chance not to easily fall back into bad habits and thus, that familiar self-loathing that arises when you fail to keep promises to yourself. It’s funny how easily it is to betray ourselves. Especially with the writing. I can be pretty kick-ass when it comes to eating (I was in daily measurable ketosis for an entire year!) and I’m getting better with exercise. But the writing, my first love, has often taken a back seat. Whatever the case, I am working on forgiveness toward self and utmost self-compassion. Difficult to do when self-flagellation is a part of your daily self-supplementation. Another bad habit I’m attempting to break. Yet I’m here now. That’s what counts.
Last night, I took another stab at looking failure and anxiety in the eye by attending another free improv class over at the Hideout Theater on Congress Ave in Austin. One of the biggest takeaways I left with was the notion that failure was celebrated by all. Whether you miss instructions to clap on time with another person in the circle, or you fail to make eye contact, missing a beat, losing time, you are instructed to grandly bow, announce to the circle of almost 15 strangers in the room:
“Yes, I failed.”
That’s the cue for everyone to wildly clap for you. I love that. From here on out, every time I think I failed, made a mistake, I’m going to picture this circle of strangers happily clapping for me. Because you know what? It’s okay to fail. That’s right, you heard me. All you need to really do is to just get up and do it all over again. No self-flagellation. No internal bully. Because mistakes and fails are something we should all give standing ovations to ourselves for. Each and every time!
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